It’s been officially two months since I last blogged. I started typing several times, but just couldn’t seem to complete a submission. Writing for me is not as simple as putting thoughts on paper. Oh no…it gets really serious at the writing desk, because I want to produce good content and substance. It is important to me that what I say touch the lives of the reader. I want you to feel what I felt during my experiences, or at least, somehow relate to what I’m sharing. So please know that I take this writing thing very serious. I don’t know what other bloggers do, but I have to read my writings at least five times before I hit publish. I kid you not!!! And let’s not even talk about, coming up with a title. OMG…It gets real ugly sometimes at the writing table! LOL…
Now that I’ve gotten all that out the way, let’s get to the real content…
On my last blog, I shared with you that I was feeling an uncomfortable tug from the Holy Spirit, requiring more from me. I gave a good description of what I was feeling, which is the reason I decided to go on a mini sabbatical retreat, and that’s where we left off, so because you are like my best friends, I felt that it would only be fair, that I share my experience with you. I mean…who goes on away, and not share the details, right?
So here goes…
The day of arrival was pretty normal. The only thing I did was unpack, eat and chill, before turning into bed. I woke up around 2 AM and began to pray for every member in my church, as well as my family. There were some things that were heavy on my heart, and I allowed the Holy Spirit to pray. I am learning to take full advantage of allowing the Holy Spirit to search the deep places of my heart and pray for what I can’t or know how to put into words.
With the help of the Holy Spirit, I released those people and situations, fully to God. It was there, in that moment that I found, to fully release something or someone, goes deeper than just saying it. A full release takes your full soul (mind, will and emotions (another blog, for another day)).
After a small nap, I arose and began to seek God for what He wanted from me. As I was bathing, songs that spoke of surrendering, flooded my soul. As I began to sing the words, “I surrender all. I surrender all. All to thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all.” I knew exactly what God wanted from me.
It’s amazing how ONE word can have such a meaning. Surrender- to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield. This means that I am relinquishing all rights to myself. I don’t know about y’all, but that’s SCARY to me! Like really…I’m giving away all my rights. This is deeper than singing a song or preaching a word. This is my WHOLE life! Did y’all hear me…MY WHOLE LIFE! Yesssss Ladies…this thing is serious for me!
Anyhoo…back to my day. After breakfast, I spent some time by the waters. I talked with God and attempted to read, but the peace was so beautiful, that I just sat, soaking it all in. After lunch, I spent the remainder of the day, watching a T.D. Jakes sermon series, “Seeds of Greatness” that I took with me. Although I’ve had it for a couple of years, I hadn’t taken the time to watch the full series. Thinking back on it now, it probably wasn’t meant for me to listen to it, until this moment. On this day, it was like rhema! It was speaking directly to me, for this season. I knew I had heard from God, and I was clear on what He needed and wanted from me.
Now the funny thing about this was– I went there expecting God to shonuff speak to me. I had a clean notebook and everything, however, He only gave me one word, but that one word, has so much meat and so much meaning. I’ve learned– one word from God, can have more meaning, than 1,000 words from man. So don’t disregard small talk coming from God.
Well, I was at the end of my little getaway, and although short, I got what I needed. After my final night of rest, I returned home with a new mindset, for life and for ministry. I know that I must surrender, for it is there, God will do great things and get His glory!
This word —SURRENDER, has become my theme for the year! When I find myself struggling with a situation, I remember to surrender. When I find myself wanting to give up, I remember to surrender. When I find myself trying to hold onto things and people, God is moving out of my life, I remember to surrender. When I find myself afraid of moving forward or up against something that seems too big for me, I remember to surrender.
2018 is my year of surrender! What about you?